Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
but still Miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute
You did not grow under my heart
but in it.
by
Fleur Conkling Heyliger
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[…] years ago, Fleur Conkling Heyliger wrote a famous poem called “Not Flesh of My Flesh.” The poem speaks about a child from the viewpoint of an adoptive parent. The last line is […]
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I remember hearing this poem from the time I was born. My parents were so happy to adopted a baby boy and I was so proud to be their son.
So glad you shared this. Hugs.
Love this so much! Wondering if I could use this on one of my upcoming blog posts? I’ll give you full credit. 🙂
My mother had this in her Bible when I was growing up. I was a chosen child and very much cherished by my Mom. She died July 24, 2018. 5 days before my 52nd birthday. Thank you Lord for a wonderful Mom. Mom, I miss you.
My wife and I explained to our two sons that they were adopted from a very early age. Even if they did not understand what we were saying we kept saying that they were adopted but more importantly that they were special to both of us.
Then one day we asked our eldest son aged I think around 4 why he was special.
His answer was – because I am a Doctor..!
We have always celebrated their Birth Days (yes I have separated the word) but again more importantly their Special Day – the day that they came into our lives.
My eldest is now 36 (37 this year) and my second son is 32 (33 this year)..!
I said “My” as my Dear wife passed away 5 and a half years ago..!
We never forgot for a single minute
They did not grow under our hearts
but in them.
By the way – they still believe that we are our their parents and do not ever want to know who their biological parents are..!!
My mother cut this out and taped it into the front of my baby book back in 1955. I’ve seen it attributed to a few different people. I think the piece of the newspaper she clipped it from says “Anonymous”
I’ve always loved it.
we adopted our son. He was born January 7, 1992. At that time someone gave me an adoption poem that I have been searching my house for and I can’t find. It was something like you may not be bone of my bone, heart of my heart but you are in my heart forever. It was a long version of the ones I have been reading. I would love to find someone that has that long version from 1992. You see our son was born addicted to drugs, we went through all of that as a baby. Than at 20 years old he took his life after his girlfriend of 5 years, his first and only love broke it off with him. I would do anything to have him back it hurts so much. So PLEASE someone if you have it please send a copy to me. Thanks Jeannette Belgarde
47 years ago whilst waiting in the Waiting Room of the Sydney (Australia) office of the Child Welfare Department for the papers of our first adoption and very nervous I found this poem framed and hanging on the wall and its simplicity and sincerity made us feel so much more at ease. I now have three adopted children and when each of them was born I had this poem done onto a small wall tile and hung it over their beds, they then always knew that they meant so much to us and from the very beginning they knew that they were adopted (no secrets)
I was in the ER with my foster baby and the nurse asked me if I planned to adopted her I quickly responded oh yes I’ve been waiting on her all my life I knew from the moment We picked her up @ the hospital and they laid her in my arms she would have my heart . The nurse turned around and read me a poem her mom gave her ( she too was adopted) and it was this poem I cryed like a baby she told me Lele was a lucky lil girl I told her I was the lucky one
This has happened to us this year too! We picked up our foster baby from Special care and I knew that I knew that I knew that she was my daughter from the moment I laid my eyes on her. We also have three boys who love her equally, as if she was their birth sister. We are all so blessed x
I saw this poem first in an either Ann Landers or Dear Abby column, my mother had cut it out and one day after school, I came bouncing in, (I was in 5th grade) and she reached up and took this paper from a jar she kept on the mantle, and asked me to read it, so I did.. I pretended I didn’t understand it, when she asked if I did, and she told me to read it again, and I still told her I didn’t understand, and she told me “look, I know how smart you are, KNOW you understand, and I said NO, because I was afraid– I thought what was coming next was “pack your clothes, were taking you to Buckner Orphanage”. And hey, I knew that my brother and sister had been saying all my life that I hadn’t belonged, and had overheard my mom and step father many times over the years saying the same things, but I tried to push it aside, and not let it bother me, even though they would threaten me with taking me to Buckner orphanage when things would get tough around there, and it was hard to feed 3 kids.. But I really just wanted to say that that is only PART of the poem… The poem that was printed in that article was longer, and that was only one verse of it.. I’ve tried to find the original, but can only get that one verse now, and it’s a quote… Wish I could find the whole thing, because as soon as my mother heard my sister and brother on the front porch talking and about to come in the house, she snatched the poem from me, and put it back in the jar on the mantle and motioned “shhhhh” of course I went quiet, and excused myself to the bathroom and cried my eyes out, and the really bad part was, when I came out, nobody seemed to notice that my eyes were all puffy and red from crying… I told them about that poem after mother passed away, and they didn’t believe me, or that the poem existed, so I’d really like to find the entire poem… Just thought you’d like to know that there is more to the poem….Thanks! 🙂
Pamela: There is always a lot more than what is found. I believe that when we are ready, things will happen.
I also believe that we end up chasing something so distant that we may forget the present. And that present are these few words that mean a world to you and me.
Im sure that if we search, we can find it. If I find them, I will post here. And if you do, let me know too.
Yes I was lucky. Very blessed. Thank you Ishrath 😀
I found this poem on a newspaper cut out when looking through my mother’s bureau since she passed away last Saturday. I’ve always known I was adopted so it wasn’t news to me but finding this touched me to the heart because it shows how great her love was for me – how she saw me – even when I wasn’t worthy of that love a lot of the time. Aren’t enough words to really say how deep that poem touches you.
Soleil: Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Indeed, this poem has that impact. It is a feeling of helplessness that you cant express enough… but this poem sums it all.
Your mother is a good woman. You are lucky to have had her.
wow….! what a heart …!
That is so beautiful, I’ve welled up while reading it!